Hanzai
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: [complete] There are so many ways to fail, and few ways to succeed. When you break the rules, you get punished -- but how many people can follow the rules without suffering?
1. Part 1 Intro

A/N and explanation and so on: This fic is a little different (I think). I wanted to mess with the characters a little...In the intro, I'm going to set everyone's problems up...and then go with them in the next chapters. Hopefully it won't be too boring or OOC, or any of those bad things that make people hate fics.

"Hanzai" means "crime" for those of you who don't know (but I'm sure there are many who do) and this fic is based on a few different crimes -- crime in every sense of the word. Breaking the law, or crimes against yourself. At the end of this fic, I will probably explain the different crimes that were committed...but I'm sure you can see them all yourself anyway.

Italics are thoughts -- I usually try to refrain from doing that, but it fit this fic rather well, I think.

Oh -- and I don't know for sure what Akutsu's mom's name is, but I think it was Yuki -- so that's what I used.

ah-- and I have to advertise my sister's PoT site -- www. geocities.com / hiroshi_atobe_mizuki Just remove the spaces, and voila!

Enjoy the fic!

*****

__

There are so many ways to fail, and few ways to succeed.

When you break the rules, you get punished -- but how many people can follow the rules without suffering?

*****

****

Hanzai

*****

~1~

__

Introduction

Fuji lay on his bed, looking at a picture that was making him feel very nostalgic. So often these days, he wished he could go back to when his little brother was actually happy to be near him. After seeing Yuuta play against Echizen, and using a move that was going to hurt him, Fuji had been obsessing over his little brother. He'd realized then just how much he missed Yuuta. Of course, he'd known it before, but now...

Now he'd come to a few realizations that made his heart ache.

He needed Yuuta back, the sweet little Yuuta who used to look up to him.

Would Yuuta ever forgive him?

Fuji didn't know.

*****

Tezuka had an icy cold exterior, and he appeared not to care about anyone or anything, but of course he was human, too. He cared, he just chose not to show it.

Tezuka didn't seem the type of person to actually want to date anyone, but inside, Tezuka was a teenaged boy just like any other -- he had hormones, too...

So when Atobe somehow got his hands on Tezuka's phone number and called him, Tezuka agreed to go out with him. Atobe was very good looking after all, and a good tennis player, even if he had an ego the size of a freight train. Tezuka could overlook his ego, if Atobe could overlook Tezuka's icy exterior.

Tezuka really didn't have any feelings for Atobe, other than respect for his tennis skills, but he supposed that dating was for getting to know the other person better, and feelings weren't especially necessary. At least, not in the beginning. He was fairly certain that Atobe didn't care much for him either, besides as a tennis player...He wasn't sure why Atobe had even asked him out in the first place, but that didn't really matter, either.

It seemed like it was a good arrangement.

The good night kiss wasn't bad, either.

*****

"Eiji...I think we should talk," Oishi said. He and Eiji were sprawled in the grass in the park, enjoying the end of the summer, before their last year of high school began.

"About what?" Eiji asked. He was chewing on a blade of grass, and looking up at the clouds. Oishi was too busy looking at Eiji to notice the clouds.

It had been a long time since they'd met, and over that time...he'd come to realize just how important Eiji was to him.

It was time to tell him his true feelings...

"Eiji, I...I like you."

There, it was said.

"You what?" Eiji sat up, and blinked a few times. "Say that again."

"I like you."

Eiji grinned, and threw himself at the surprised Oishi. "I like you too! It took you long enough..."

"If you...why didn't you say anything?" Oishi asked.

"Probably the same reason you didn't say anything," Eiji replied. "I was afraid you would reject me...and after this long, I thought...I didn't want to spoil things. Right?"

"Right. But things won't be spoiled, I promise," Oishi said.

They had finally admitted their feelings.

Everything would be perfect from then on...

*****

"Takashi! Someone is on the phone for you!"

"I'm coming!" Kawamura took the phone from his father. "Who is it?"

"She says her name is Akutsu something...Yuki maybe. She was crying, so it was hard to tell."

"Yuki-chan?" Kawamura was a little surprised. Why would she be calling him? And why was she crying? 

"Hello?"

"Jin...he..."

"Yuki-chan! What's wrong?" Kawamura asked. She really was crying, rather hysterically.

"You were his only friend, so I thought I should call you...They put him in jail..."

"Jail? Akutsu?" Kawamura heard roaring in his ears. "What did he do?"

"He...killed someone..."

The phone slipped out of Kawamura's numb fingers, and clattered to the floor. He stared at the wall.

__

Akutsu...you were always violent, but why?

"Are you still there? Takashi-kun?"

Kawamura picked up the fallen receiver. "Sorry, I..."

"I know. It's so hard to believe. I never thought Jin would go this far. I tried so hard, but somehow, I failed as a mother..."

She went on and on. Kawamura could barely hear her. He made a few comforting noises, and told her that it wasn't her fault.

__

How could it be her fault when it's mine?

*****


	2. Part 2

A/N: I don't really believe that Akutsu could be that cruel...then again, he's pretty violent, so you never know. For the sake of this fic, let's say that Akutsu got even crazier after a couple of years of high school. I feel kind of guilty for making him so bad...*sniffle* Gomen! Now I'm going to mess everything up even further. *hides an evil grin, pretends to look innocent*

Er...I don't know how Atobe refers to Oshitari. Oshitari, or Yuushi, or...Pooky? Sugar-kins? I don't know. So if I'm wrong, please correct me. Or just pretend I'm right...that works too...And I don't know much about Oshitari's personality, only that his image song is called Crafty, and he's sexy. So I decided to play with him! And his personality, too...*snicker*

...I'm such an idiot...

Please enjoy!

~2~

Fuji and Eiji were on their way to class together. They still had some classes in common, even in high school. Fuji, Eiji, Oishi, Tezuka and Kawamura had all ended up at the same high school together, and they still saw each other on a regular basis.

Kawamura was no longer part of the tennis club, but everyone else was. Even Fuji, who had decided to quit at one point -- and then had been talked out of it by Eiji. His exact words were, "You're the prodigy! If you quit, everyone's world will be shattered!"

How could Fuji have quit after hearing that?

Eiji was huffing and puffing, and dragging his feet, and sighing, so Fuji decided that there was definitely something the matter with his red-haired friend.

"Eiji...what's wrong?" he asked.

"What? Nothing," Eiji replied. "Nothing's wrong!" He gave another huff and puff, one more sigh, and he kicked at the ground.

"Are you sure?" Fuji asked.

"Yes! I'm fine." Eiji gave Fuji the worst attempt at a fake smile that Fuji had ever seen. There was obviously something wrong, and Eiji didn't want to admit what it was, so it must really be bothering him.

"You can talk to me about it," Fuji said, in his most soothing voice. The voice that could drag almost anything out of almost anyone. "It won't go away if you ignore it."

Eiji let out another exasperated sigh. "It's Oishi. He's been acting...weird."

"Ah." After years of being called the Golden Pair, they'd finally gotten around to getting together a month ago, at the beginning of the school year. They seemed to be getting along just fine as always, only now they were very openly mushy in public. It was highly amusing for Fuji, who enjoyed a good sappy scene once in a while.

"How is he acting weird?"

"He's really...clingy and stuff," Eiji said, not sure how to describe it. "And overprotective. He calls me a lot and follows me around a lot, too."

"Well, you two just started going out, so that's bound to happen," Fuji said. "Just give him a chance."

"This whole dating thing isn't as fun as I thought it would be." Eiji sighed yet again. "But I'll give it a chance, like you said!"

"Good." Fuji smiled at his friend. They reached their classroom.

Fuji slid into his seat, and he let a sigh of his own escape. He was tired. He hadn't been sleeping very well, lately. He was going to have to face a major decision soon, one that he didn't really want to think about -- but one that he couldn't stop thinking about.

"Fuji, is something the matter with you, too?" Eiji asked.

"No, nothing," Fuji said, his smile restored. Unlike Eiji, he could fake a smile very well, since he'd been doing it most of his life. And unlike Fuji, Eiji was not incredibly perceptive and perseverant, so he did not pursue the matter any further. Fuji was glad, because he did not want to tell anyone about his problem just yet.

*****

Atobe regarded his appearance in his full-length mirror, and smiled at his reflection in satisfaction. Of course he was perfect! He was always perfect, but tonight he looked especially good. He had to, for his date with Tezuka.

They'd been dating for about three months now, and it was quite pleasant. Tezuka was attractive (almost as attractive as Atobe himself) and even though he wasn't the best of company, it didn't matter, because when they were together, heads turned.

Atobe was obsessed with himself -- obsessed with his ego -- obsessed with his image. In his high school, he had become the captain of the tennis club once again, and everyone loved him, once again. He'd acquired yet another huge following, and his head was just as swelled as always -- and it was starting to get to him. He was changing. Where before, he'd held a shred of decency somewhere inside him -- now he held only conceit.

Once in a while, he would notice himself saying something or doing something that shocked a small part of him, but that small part was so hard to hear that he just ignored it, and it went away. 

His phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Atobe...It's been a while..."

"Oshitari?" Atobe was surprised. He hadn't heard from Oshitari in over a year, since they were in different high schools. He actually sort of missed the crafty boy -- his intelligence, his wit, his lazy smile...and the occasional time they'd had secret rendez-vous that no one actually knew about...

Atobe smirked at the thought. Oshitari had been with Mukahi then...But that hadn't really mattered to Oshitari. He did what he pleased, when he pleased, with whomever he pleased. Atobe had no problem with that, either -- Oshitari was a damn good kisser.

"It has been a while," Atobe replied. "Called to arrange a secret meeting? How is your dear Gakuto-chan?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him in a while, either," Oshitari replied. "He got a little...annoyed...with certain habits I have."

Atobe laughed. "Same as always, aren't you?"

"Of course. Actually, I did call to arrange a secret meeting. I was in the neighbourhood, and I thought I might give you a call..."

"Oh? That sounds intriguing, but I have a date tonight."

"Tomorrow night, then," Oshitari said.

"You're quite sure of yourself. What makes you think I'm going to agree?" Atobe asked. "What if I'm very faithful to my newfound love interest?"

"You? Faithful? Since when?" Oshitari asked. It was his turn for laughter.

"Hm...you're right. Tomorrow night sounds fine."

"You're not going to demand why I didn't call you before now? It's been over a year, after all."

"I don't really care. I expect you were busy," Atobe said. "You can tell me all about it tomorrow night."

After discussing where they would meet, Atobe hung up the phone, grabbed his jacket, and left his apartment.

He had a date tonight with Tezuka, and he didn't want to be late.

*****


	3. Part 3

A/N: I don't know much about the justice system, especially in Japan. I don't know what they do to minors...I don't want Akutsu to die, so I hope they don't kill them...Anyway, I'm just going to stick him in a jail cell, and let Kawamura visit him.

~3~

Akutsu's mother told Kawamura the whole story over the phone. Akutsu had started staying out very late every night, getting drunk, acting like a rebellious teenager...She'd been very worried, naturally, but she'd never expected him to get into this kind of trouble. He'd gotten into a knife fight with some other drunk teenager, and Akutsu had ended up being the victor.

He might have gotten a lesser punishment for something like that, had it been self-defence -- but Akutsu openly admitted being the instigator of the fight. It was entirely his fault the other boy was dead.

Kawamura looked at Akutsu sadly, and wondered just why Akutsu had ended up this way.

__

It must be my fault.

Kawamura felt that he had failed Akutsu, somehow. When they were little, he'd tried so hard to be Akutsu's friend, but he'd never gotten through...and so he'd given up. He'd seen Akutsu for the first time in years back in junior high, when he hurt Echizen...He'd tried to talk to him then, but he still didn't get through. So he gave up.

He hadn't seen Akutsu since then. Not until now. Two days after receiving a phone call from his hysterical mother.

It was so sad that this was the way he had to see Akutsu. It had taken some effort for him to even be allowed to see Akutsu, and they were only allowing him this one visit, since he was not family and had no special attachment to Akutsu.

"Why did you do it?" Kawamura asked.

Akutsu had taken a life, and Kawamura wanted to know why.

"Because I could," Akutsu replied. He was a scary-looking person to begin with, but the icy cold look in his eyes now was terrifying.

There seemed to be no hope left for him.

Kawamura had failed him, those years ago, by failing to become his friend...

He'd killed someone -- because he could.

And that was that.

Kawamura shook his head. He felt an urge to start crying. He felt sorry for Akutsu. He felt sorry for Akutsu because Akutsu would never be able to leave something like this behind him. There was really no hope left.

There was nothing left for Kawamura to say, except...

"I'm sorry."

Akutsu laughed at him. "Sorry? For what?"

"For everything," Kawamura replied, and he left Akutsu behind. He could still hear Akutsu's laughter ringing in his ears after he was far away from the jail.

He heard that laughter in his nightmares that night, and for many nights afterward.

*****

Fuji stared at the ceiling of his room, and tried to sort through his confused thoughts. Of course, it was a great opportunity...but he didn't want to go!

It was a good university, and he'd been offered a scholarship, but it was miles and miles away...It was in another country...

How could he leave his home?

How could he leave everything behind?

Especially...That one person that dominated his thoughts these days. That one person who hated him, and would probably continue to hate him for a long time. How could Fuji be separated from that person?

Fuji didn't wan to leave, but...It was such a good opportunity to do something with himself...

And that one person hated him, so why bother staying?

Fuji had friends here, and he had memories here, but when it came right down to it, there was only one thing he cared about.

His brother hated him.

Fuji wished things could be different. He wished...He wished for so many things that just weren't possible.

Leaving this county, his home...It was such a painful thing to him. If he ever returned, it would be different. It would no longer be his home.

Would he ever have a home again?

__

I'm just being silly. Of course it would still be home...my friends won't forget me. I"ll have something to come back to.

That made him feel a little better, but only just a little.

What about his brother?

Would Yuuta be happy to see him go?

That was the thought that bothered Fuji the most.

*****


	4. Part 4

A/N: Gomen! Tezuka is major OOC, but it's a few years later, right? I really wanted to make him this way...this story is about crime, after all. I hope you're not put off by this! Oh, and if you like Kawamura in this fic, please read my other Kawamura fic, "Cry for Help". (I'm allowed to promote myself in my own fics, right?)

~4~

Tezuka was seated at his regular table with Atobe, eating the same meal he usually ate, and wondering why he even bothered to come here anymore. He felt no closer to Atobe now than he had months ago. Five months, and still nothing...Atobe's attitude became increasingly annoying. He'd thought at first that there must be something underneath the conceit -- but it turned out there really wasn't. Either that, or Tezuka wasn't looking hard enough...

Tezuka was not exactly thrilled with this relationship, but he still did not want to give it up just yet. As annoying as ATobe was, there was no denying that he was incredibly attractive...and Tezuka was human after all -- and his hormones were functioning perfectly. Atobe was a damn good kisser.

Maybe he'd lose some of the conceit after a while.

Tezuka realized with some alarm that he was a very different boy than he had been a few years ago.

__

I think I was more mature, then. Maybe I should have let myself go through this stage earlier...

He regarded Atobe with his same stony expression. Atobe smirked back at him.

"Are you bored, Tezuka?"

"Maybe," Tezuka replied.

"I'm sorry that I'm not as entertaining as you'd like. Maybe we should leave, and find something more interesting to do?"

"Hm."

Atobe's smirk grew wider. He loved it when Tezuka said that, because it really meant yes, he would love to do something more interesting -- but he wasn't going to admit to that out loud.

"Something more interesting" usually meant going to a movie, or a park, or someplace dark and quiet -- and making out. It was an enjoyable time for both of them.

Tezuka did not have any feelings for Atobe, and he was beginning to doubt if he ever would, but he planned on staying with him, anyway. He was fairly certain that Atobe did not have any feelings for him, but the arrangement seemed to be working for both of them...

*****

Eiji just barely resisted the urge to punch Oishi in the nose. As it was, he was near to bursting with anger. There was steam coming out of his ears. He'd never been so embarrassed in all his life!

"There was no need for that," he said, through gritted teeth.

"Eiji...I was just looking out for you..."

"I was only talking to the guy! You didn't have to interrupt like that and embarrass me!"

"It looked like he..."

"Since when are you so jealous?" Eiji fumed. "Don't you trust me at all, Oishi? You've known me for how long? And you think I would cheat on you that easily?"

"No," Oishi said, looking at the ground. "No, I don't think that you would, but he..."

Eiji felt the anger rush out of him. He felt very, very tired. Things had been like this ever since they'd gotten together. Oishi had promised that nothing would be spoiled, but Eiji mourned the loss of their friendship -- for it felt like they weren't friends anymore. Oishi had become overprotective, and got jealous whenever Eiji so much as talked to anyone else. He'd undergone some sort of transformation, simply because now they were a couple...

Eiji hated it. He hated the changes in Oishi. He wanted things to be just like they were before!

"I'm sorry, Eiji," Oishi said softly, tilting Eiji's chin upwards, so he could look him in the eye. "I'll back off a little. I guess I haven't been giving you your space...I just want everything to be perfect for us..."

"I know," Eiji sighed. "But backing off a little would help."

"Then I will."

Eiji forced a smile. "Okay."

Oishi kissed him, then, and some of Eiji's worries melted away. He really did love Oishi, and even though he was acting a little oddly, he was still Oishi. They'd been friends for so long...it wouldn't just go away like that, would it?

*****

Atobe and Oshitari sat lazily in the park, watching the stars. Atobe was seated comfortably in Oshitari's lap.

"This is Tezuka's favorite place," Atobe commented suddenly.

"Hmm? So it's Tezuka, is it? You never mentioned that before," Oshitari said. "You kept referring to him as your newfound love interest."

"Well, I didn't want you to be too jealous. After all, Tezuka is better looking than you are."

"I'm hurt," Oshitari said, and it was impossible to determine whether he was being serious or not. Not that Atobe cared either way.

"I'm an honest man," Atobe said.

"No, you're not."

"I never lied to Tezuka, I just didn't tell him the entire truth," Atobe said, with a shrug. "If he asked me where I go on nights that I don't see him, I would probably tell him."

Oshitari planted a kiss on the back of Atobe's neck, and Atobe shivered.

"Do you like Tezuka?"

"Not especially."

"Do you love him?"

"Not at all."

"What about me?" Oshitari asked.

"You? I like you well enough," Atobe replied, "But don't ask me the second question, because I refuse to answer it."

Oshitari laughed. "We're still the same as ever, aren't we, Atobe?"

"Of course we are. Why bother changing? I know for a fact that I am perfect."

Oshitari just laughed again. That was what he liked best about Atobe -- his unceasing ego. He wasn't quite sure why he liked that, he just did. Atobe really was an honest man -- he never tried to fake modesty.

"So why did you mention Tezuka, if you don't even like him?" Oshitari asked.

"To make you jealous," Atobe replied. "Did it work?"

"Maybe a little. Why are you with Tezuka?"

"It's a good arrangement. He doesn't like me, either, but we turn a lot of heads. We're very suited to each other."

"I'm sure you make a lovely pair."

"Why did you stay with Mukahi so long?" Atobe asked. He'd always wondered that.

"It was convenient."

"Oh? Just like me?"

"Hm...Maybe."

Atobe turned a little, so he could face Oshitari. "What exactly are we doing here?" he asked, feeling the sudden need to know. To know why he had agreed to see Oshitari again so readily after almost a year of not hearing from him. To know why he cared, deep down, that he hadn't heard from Oshitari in so long. He probably could have called Oshitari, but Atobe was above such things...

"I don't know. Does it matter?"

"Maybe it does," Atobe muttered.

"Oh? So maybe you do have feelings for me," Oshitari said, with a smirk to rival Atobe's. Then he pulled Atobe even closer, and kissed him.

"Want to come to my p lace tonight?" Atobe asked, when they broke apart. "I live on my own, now."

"That sounds like a good idea," Oshitari said.

Atobe made a sound that slightly resembled a snicker, and he led Oshitari away from the park.

*****


	5. Part 5

A/N: I wish I could have fit everyone into this fic, since I do love everyone, but that would have taken me ten years to finish -- so I chose the people that best fit the crimes I came up with. It might seem pretty random -- because it is! I hope you still like it, though. 

This is the longest chapter. Lots of bad things happen in it. *sniffle* Really, really bad things, actually...including something I told myself I'd never do. Can you guess what it is?

~5~

Fuji surveyed the scene before him with the usual smile on his face. His mind was in turmoil, but no one noticed. They thought he was just here to play tennis.

Of course, that was one of the reasons he was here, but not the main reason. He'd come to the street tennis courts a few times in the past few years. It was one of the places he knew Yuuta frequented, and so he tried to meet his brother there, sometimes. This was one of those times. He'd come here hoping that Yuuta would be there, and he'd breathed sigh of relief when he'd seen that Yuuta was _not_ there.

His head was full of contradictions.

The end of the school year was getting closer and closer all the time.

Fuji wanted to see Yuuta badly, wanted to talk to him badly -- but he knew that it was a bad idea.

So Fuji sat on the bench with the usual smile on his face, and watched as Momoshiro and Kamio argued -- the same old arguments they'd been having ever since junior high. A few of the regulars were there -- Momo and Kamio, Ibu Shinji, and Echizen. Fuji rarely saw Momoshiro or Echizen anymore, so it was nice to encounter them here. He wasn't here to see them, though.

"Ne, Fuji-kun?"

Tachibana Ann was seated next to Fuji. He started a little. He'd almost forgotten her presence.

"Yes?"

"Do you think Momoshiro-kun and Kamio-kun will ever get along?"

Fuji observed the two of them, and listened to their silly argument. They were fighting about something very unimportant. 

"I think they get along already," Fuji replied.

"What? But they constantly argue --"

"They like each other, though," Fuji said. "Watch them closely. They wouldn't fight like that if they didn't like each other, would they? They've been arguing like this for a few years now, but they keep coming back, and they keep playing each other."

"I don't really know what you mean," Ann confessed.

Fuji laughed, his quiet laugh. "You will." He went back to his brooding. He was not terribly concerned about Momoshiro and Kamio at the moment. All he could think about lately was Yuuta -- and what he would do if Yuuta hated him for the rest of his life -- and about what he would do if Yuuta ever said that he forgave him.

What would he do?

Fuji felt his spirits lift -- and his heart drop into his stomach -- as a few more people showed up at the courts. Some people that he had been hoping would not show up, but he had also been wishing for...

It was Yuuta, and with him was Mizuki -- who he still spent a lot of time with, even after all that he'd done. Fuji still hated Mizuki, but not as much as he had years ago, because it was quite obvious that Yuuta was going to stay with him for a long time, so Fuji had to get used to it. He didn't like it, but he would get used to it -- for Yuuta.

Of course, on the odd occasion he still tried to make Mizuki's life miserable, but if he didn't do that...what kind of sadistic big brother would he be? Everyone would think he had gone soft. He didn't want that, not at all.

"Yuuta," Fuji said. He ignored Mizuki's presence, as usual. It was comforting to act as they always did; comforting that no one knew what was going on inside of his head. Comforting to know that he was still here now, even though in a couple of months he might be gone, and he might never return...

Even after going to high school, things had remained somewhat the same. He was no longer a part of the Seigaku tennis team -- but he saw a few of the members regularly, and he ran into the rest of them once in a while. If he left the country...he would never see them again...

He might never see Yuuta again. Yuuta was his brother -- but it was more likely he would see his friends again than his brother -- since Yuuta still hated him...because people still compared him to Fuji.

"What are you doing here?" Yuuta asked.

"I came to see if you were here. I wanted to ask you for a date!" Fuji said, in the same old teasing tone of voice he always used. 

"Baka aniki!" Yuuta exclaimed -- just like always.

Fuji felt like crying. Nothing was the same anymore, because he'd come to realize just what his true feelings were. 

__

Yuuta thinks I'm joking when I tell him how I feel -- I thought I was joking, too.

"I'm sorry I can't stay, but I've been here long enough," Fuji said. He stood, and for a moment, he regarded Yuuta with a serious expression.

"Come home one day soon, even if it's only for a few minutes. I want to talk to you," he said. Then his smile was restored, he gave a little wave, and he walked away.

It was dangerous to stay near Yuuta, especially with other people around who might notice a crack in his mask.

*****

Eiji was at the end of his patience. He simply could not stand Oishi's smothering attitude anymore. It had been six months, and he was going absolutely insane.

"Oishi, we need to talk," he said to his boyfriend, who was seated across from him at their table in a restaurant.

"About what?" Oishi asked. He was wearing that beautiful smile that Eiji loved so much. Eiji didn't want to do this -- but what choice did he have? If he stayed with Oishi, he wouldn't have any more room to breathe! He loved Oishi so much, but...

"Oishi. Remember how you promised to back off and give me space?" Eiji said. "Well...you never gave me space. I still can't breathe, Oishi."

Oishi's smile faded. "What?"

"You're overprotective. You're smothering me!" Eiji exclaimed. "I...I want some freedom. Maybe just for a while...maybe forever. Do you understand?"

Oishi looked down at his plate. The expression on his face made Eiji's heart shatter.

"I understand."

"I just want some space..." Eiji said. "I still love you, though."

"I'll love you always, Eiji," Oishi said. "Let me walk you home, one last time."

"It's not like we're dying," Eiji said. "There might be other chances for us, but...we're still in school and everything, it would be good for us to be apart for a while!"

"Yeah."

They walked home in silence, and for some reason, Eiji felt that this was really the end. He didn't want it to be...but he really did need his space to breathe.

Oishi was not the type to argue, so he wasn't even going to try and convince Eiji otherwise. His heart was broken -- but he didn't blame Eiji. He blamed himself.

"Forgive me, Oishi," Eiji said quietly. He kissed Oishi's cheek, and he dashed inside.

"No...forgive me, Eiji," Oishi said. He turned around and went home, feeling as though he'd been torn apart. 

__

This was my fault, after all -- if I'd backed off a little like I said I would...But I didn't want to share him with anybody...I still don't.

Goodbye, Eiji. If this is what you want...then there's not much I can do about it...

But I'll never stop loving you. Ever.

*****

Tezuka was more than a little surprised at what he saw before him. Atobe, his boyfriend of a little more than six months, was currently in the arms of someone he recognized -- Oshitari Yuushi, a former member of the Hyoutei Gakuen tennis team...

Tezuka wondered vaguely how long this had been going on behind his back. He wondered if he even cared. He'd realized on several occasions how little he cared about Atobe, but it still shocked him and angered him that Atobe was seeing someone behind his back...

"Oh...Tezuka," Atobe said. He pushed Oshitari away a little. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"Yes. You must be," Tezuka said. His expression never changed. He made no accusations. He said nothing about what was going on. He waited for Atobe's explanation.

"You remember Oshitari? The tennis genius..."

"I remember."

Oshitari had a little smirk on his face. For some reason, it bothered Tezuka. It was as if Oshitari was proud of himself for stealing Tezuka's boyfriend. Well...Atobe was quite the catch, after all. Wasn't that the reason Tezuka had been staying with him?

"I guess now you know," Atobe said. "What are you going to do about it?"

Tezuka thought about that for a moment. What _was_ he going to do about it? Get angry and jealous because Atobe was with someone else? It wasn't as if there were actual emotions between them -- only a desire to stay together because they seemed suited to each other, somehow. Why bother getting jealous and angry? 

He wondered if Atobe had feelings for Oshitari. He hoped so. He hoped that Atobe could actually care for someone -- because Atobe needed to lose some of his conceit, and caring about someone else might help him. 

Tezuka realized he would never help to rid Atobe of that conceit he carried, because he didn't care enough. He hardly cared at all.

__

I've been such a...

Why have I stayed with him this long? Because it's fun to make out with him? That's not a good basis for a relationship...

Whatever happened to my good sense? I've lost it along the way, somewhere.

"I'm not going to do anything about this," Tezuka replied, finally. "What you do is your business." Tezuka began to walk away.

Atobe told Oshitari to wait for him a moment, and followed after him.

"Tezuka -- wait."

Tezuka stopped, but he did not turn around.

"It's been fun, but that's all it's been," Atobe said. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes."

"Are you angry?"

"I was," Tezuka replied. "Until I realized that it doesn't make any difference."

"No, it doesn't, does it?" Atobe's smirk had such a strange quality to it -- Tezuka couldn't quite place the emotion on Atobe's face at that moment, but he knew that it meant it was time for this to end.

"Let's end this," Tezuka said. 

"Yes. Let's. Goodbye, Tezuka," Atobe said.

"Goodbye."

Atobe watched Tezuka walk away for a little longer, and then he went back to Oshitari.

"Do you think Tezuka is upset that he's lost you?" Oshitari asked.

"No," Atobe replied. "He really didn't like me, anyway."

"So why did you stay with him?"

"Because I felt like it," Atobe replied. "Stop asking me that question...it doesn't matter anymore."

"Are you sad, now that your newfound love interest is gone?" Oshitari asked. The usual smirk wasn't on his face. 

Atobe wasn't wearing his usual smirk, either.

"I'm not sad at all," he replied. "What about you? Are you going to lose interest now that I'm not taken anymore? It won't be fun for you after this, will it."

Atobe was surprised to hear Oshitari laughed. "I didn't know that you cared if I left or not."

"I don't, really," Atobe protested.

"Hm..." Oshitari pulled Atobe back to him. "I think you do."

Atobe snorted. "You think you know everything."

Oshitari chuckled. "I know one thing for sure, though. I won't get tired of you."

"Oh, so you'll keep crawling back and demanding to see me, behind someone's back?"

"I won't have to keep crawling back if I stay with you, will I?" Oshitari asked.

Atobe blinked in surprise. "If you..."

"That's not a sure thing, though," Oshitari said.

"Of course not. Ne, Oshitari -- why did you stay with Mukahi so long?" Atobe asked.

"Because I thought I couldn't have you. Now stop asking me that question -- it doesn't matter anymore."

The two of them were smirking together again.

*****


	6. Part 6

A/N: Aaaah...Kawamura appears again in this chapter. I know the timeline's been a bit confusing -- The thing with Akutsu happened about the same time as the breakup of the Golden Pair (oh, it hurts me to say that) and the breakup of Atobe and Tezuka -- but I put it in earlier chapters just to add a little Taka-san! Poor him =( 

~6~

Fuji regarded the miserable-looking boy in front of him, and wondered yet again why he was wearing such a gloomy face.

He had noticed Kawamura acting strangely, lately. He'd been avoiding Fuji, and his other friends, too, making up lame excuses any time they asked him to go somewhere with them. He never spoke to them on the phone, he passed them in the hallways...Fuji was very worried.

Fuji was about to drag Kawamura's problems out of him. He'd finally cornered his friend, and there was no escape for him now!

"Tell me what's going on," Fuji said, getting straight to the point. There was no use in wasting time with small-talk. He wanted to know what was going on with Kawamura -- and he wanted to know now. Kawamura was one of his dearest friends, and he was not going to stand for this any longer.

"Ah...nothing's going on," Kawamura said, trying to find a way out of this situation. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially Fuji, who was so good at getting to the heart of other people's problems.

"Something is wrong, Taka-san, and I think you should tell me what it is before it gets any worse," Fuji said, in that soothing voice of his that could have charmed a very rich man into giving away the combination to the safe that held his fortune.

"I..." Kawamura sighed. Fuji's blue eyes were boring into his. He had to tell his friend what was going on. "I've been a little bit preoccupied," he said.

"I can see that."

"Akutsu...He was put in jail," Kawamura said, quietly. "I went to see him, and he...well, he..."

"I'm sorry," Fuji said. He put a hand on Kawamura's shoulder. "Why haven't you told anyone what's bothering you?"

"I don't want to start rumors about Akutsu. People will find out soon enough, anyway. Fuji, he...he killed someone." It was so hard for Kawamura to get those words past his lips. It hurt to say them. 

"He...what?" Fuji looked shock. It was not an easy thing to shock Fuji.

Kawmura nodded miserably. "It's my fault, though...I never tried hard enough when we were little to be his friend...I just gave up on him, and now he's...Well. He said he did it just because he could. His mother's a mess, and it's all my fault..."

"It is definitely not your fault, Taka-san. Where did you get a silly idea like that?" Fuji demanded. "Just because he refused your friendship doesn't mean a thing."

"I can't stop caring, either," Kawamura whispered, as if he hadn't heard a thing Fuji said. "He's a murderer, and yet I feel sorry for him...I blame myself most of all..."

Fuji's heart went out to Kawamura. 

"You should have told someone about this before," he scolded gently. "You've let your guilt build up. You shouldn't have done that."

Kawamura just looked even more miserable, as he regarded Fuji with a pathetic expression.

"I don't know what to do..."

"There's not much you can do, now," Fuji said. "You tried before, and that's all that matters, really. You shouldn't blame yourself for this."

"I know that, I do, but..."

"But you're Taka-san, and you care." Fuji patted his shoulder. "You can always talk to me, you know. I won't tell anyone about this, but like you said, they're bound to find out by themselves, anyway."

"I don't want anyone to hate him," Kawamura murmured. "Even if he deserves it, now."

"I know."

Kawamura sighed. "You can drag anything out of anyone, can't you, Fuji? Who do you tell your problems to?"

"To myself," Fuji replied, with a smile. "That's all I need. Now stop blaming yourself for this. If you keep doing what you've been doing lately, I will have to corner you again, and make you drink Inui's latest special, as soon as I call him and ask for it..."

Kawamura shuddered. "Is that the only reason you keep in touch with him?"

Fuji just kept on smiling, and made no reply to that. "Do you feel better, Taka-san?"

"Not really. I won't, for a while."

"Hm...true. If you need a shoulder to cry on, there's one right here. Now, I think we should get going to class."

Fuji was happy to help others with their problems. He liked seeing people in misery -- but only the kind of misery that wouldn't leave scars.

He could deal with other people's problems, but he was helpless when it came to his own.

The end of the school year was rapidly approaching.

*****

Oishi dragged his feet as he walked. He could see Eiji just up ahead, laughing with someone -- with someone else.

It hurt so much.

It had already been a month since they'd broken up, but it still hurt so much. Oishi found himself following Eiji a lot of the time, watching him as he shared his happy personality with other people -- and missing that happy personality.

He'd blown it completely. He'd smothered the one he truly loved -- and so Eiji had escaped while he still could, before he died of suffocation.

Now Oishi was kicking himself and wondering why he'd been such an idiot about the whole thing. He'd promised to give Eiji his breathing space, but...

But, but, but.

Did it even matter anymore?

Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

"Oof."

Oishi looked up when he collided with someone.

"Gomen," he mumbled, and then his eyes widened a little when he saw who it was.

"Tezuzka!"

"Oishi." Tezuka nodded. 

Even though they were both in the tennis club together, they hadn't spoken much lately. They'd both been busy. Oishi had been busy with Eiji, and then after the breakup he'd been busy watching Eiji, and Tezuka...

"What have you been doing lately?" Oishi asked.

A strange expression passed over Tezuka's usually expressionless face. Oishi was startled to see that.

"I...broke up with someone," Tezuka finally replied. So -- the rumors that he'd been dating Atobe Keigo were true. Oishi hadn't really believed them, until now. He'd always thought that Tezuka disliked people like Atobe.

"Oh, I'm sorry. So did I," Oishi said.

Tezuka looked vaguely surprised. Oishi was amazed that his captain was showing so much emotion today. Maybe his breakup had affected him.

"You broke up with Kikumaru?"

"Yeah." Oishi looked down at his feet.

Tezuka had noticed something different between the two during practice the past couple of weeks -- but he hadn't suspected that. Oishi and Eiji were _the_ pair, so...

"I'm sorry," Tezuka said. It was unusual for him to express sympathy...

"So am I," Oishi said softly. "So am I..."

There was an awkward silence.

For some reason, Oishi suddenly remembered how close he and Tezuka had been when they were in junior high. Oishi was probably the closest to him back then -- but in high school, they'd drifted a little. Oishi didn't really understand Teuzka anymore. They'd both changed...

"Well, I'll see you at practice," Tezuka said. 

Oishi nodded. As Tezuka walked away, he was hit with sudden inspiration. "Oh, Tezuka -- would you like to come to a movie with me on the weekend? I bought two tickets a couple of weeks ago, when...but..."

"I understand. I will go with you," Tezuka replied. Oishi had expected refusal -- but Tezuka was full of surprises today.

For the first time in a while, Oishi smiled. 

*****


	7. Part 7

A/N: I have to put a warning on this chapter. You have probably seen where this Fuji/Yuuta thing is going -- and in this chapter, it goes! Er...well. I went through a phase where I wrote a lot of incest fics (you can see them at fictionpress.com, I'm Cheeseburger of Doom there, too!) and while watching PoT I couldn't help but notice the Fuji/Yuuta interaction, and...well. It's just mild in this fic though -- so don't worry too much about it. I don't want to spoil the ending, but I will say this -- Yuuta is probably against incest just as much as the average person...

Okay, now that I gave everything away, please read chapter seven! 

~7~

Eiji felt his hear tearing to pieces. 

It had been two months since he and Oishi had broken up, and he missed Oishi terribly; he even missed Oishi's smothering behavior. He wanted his Oishi back! He was ready to get down on his knees and beg forgiveness, and admit what a moron he'd been, and beg Oishi to take him back. He was completely ready to be smothered again, and this time he would enjoy every second...but it was too late.

And that was why his heart was tearing into pieces. 

Oishi had gotten over him already. He was on a date with Tezuka!

Eiji had noticed Tezuka and Oishi being more friendly with each other at tennis practices. Eiji had been watching Oishi all this time, and realizing how much he'd been missing him...how much he missed playing doubles with Oishi (since they'd quit that, too), how much he missed being kissed by Oishi...

He'd heard Oishi ask Tezuka to go to a movie with him -- again, Oishi had said. Would you like to go with me again? And Tezuka had said yes.

Eiji hadn't really believed it, so he'd followed them...and sure enough, they were out on a date, watching a movie.

He couldn't stand it. He didn't want to see them start holding hands or smooching or anything, so he took off.

Oishi was already over him, even though he'd said he would love him forever...and Eiji was definitely never going to get over Oishi.

It hurt so much.

Eiji hadn't thought anything could hurt this much.

He felt tears spring to his eyes, and he went home as fast as he could, so that no one would see him cry.

*****

Yuuta was standing on the doorstep of the home he had once lived in, and Fuji was staring at him as if he'd grown another head.

"You said you wanted to talk to me, so I came," he grumbled. It had taken him quite a few weeks, but he'd finally decided he was extremely curious as to why Fuji had looked so much more serious than usual when he'd said that.

"Yuuta...come in."

"Where is everybody?" Yuuta asked. He'd been hoping the whole family would be around. He rarely visited (in fact, he never visited) so it would have been nice if they'd been there when he actually made the effort...

They sat down facing each other.

"Yuuta. I wondered...if you still hate me..." Fuji was regarding him with that same serious expression. Yuuta fidgeted in his seat. It was an unnerving look, really.

"If you still hate me, for ruining your life..."

"I..." Yuuta had been bitter for many years about the fact that his brother was a prodigy, and no matter where he went, he was known as "Fuji Syusuke's ototo". He wanted a name for himself!

But...he didn't really hate his brother. He'd come to that realization one day. He just wanted to stay away from his brother so that he could make a name for himself. Of course, he wasn't going to _tell_ his brother that -- because his brother was weird, and teased him all the time about weird things...like going on dates with him...that just wasn't normal!

But now Fuji was asking Yuuta if Yuuta hated him, with such a serious expression on his face -- so Yuuta had to answer seriously.

"I don't hate you," Yuuta finally said. "I just wanted to get away from you."

Fuji sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that...but I was afraid you wouldn't."

"What?" Yes, his brother was definitely weird.

"Yuuta...I'm sorry," Fuji said. "I'm sorry that I'm your brother. I never wanted you to get hurt. I never wanted you to hate me for being what I am. I wanted you to look up to me, always. Remember when we were happy? But those happy times are what haunt my nightmares."

"You're not making much sense, aniki..."

"No, I'm not, am I?" Fuji's smile was back -- but it was a bitter, bitter smile. Yuuta felt a strange feeling well up in his heart at the sight of that smile.

"I'm leaving at the end of the school year, Yuuta. I have a scholarship, in a different country...I'll be gone, and you won't have to worry about living up to my name anymore. Will that make you happy?"

Leaving? His brother was leaving? Yuuta had been trying to escape him for a long time, but...another country? He wouldn't be around to tease Yuuta anymore, and even though it was annoying, Yuuta had come to expect it...maybe even rely on it...since he really didn't hate his brother at all. 

"So I wanted to tell you something before I go, even though I shouldn't. I know you won't understand...but I..." Fuji leaned forward, and brushed his lips against Yuuta's.

Yuuta's aniki was giving him a kiss on the lips -- it was something so horrible, something so wrong, that his eyes went wide in shock, and he was unable to move. He was paralyzed with shock. What was his baka aniki DOING? This was so much farther from teasing, so wrong, so wrong...

"I've always had an unhealthy obsession, Yuuta. You can go now, and I don't think I'll see you before I go, so...goodbye. I will miss you."

Fuji shooed Yuuta out the door, without allowing him to say anymore. 

Once Yuuta was gone, Fuji allowed himself to do something that was usually against his own personal rules -- he cried.

Fuji Syusuke cried.

A/N: Curse the Fuji brothers! They have the same last name -- so things get difficult. Fuji is Fuji is Fuji, and Yuuta is Yuuta -- BUT when I say Fuji I could mean either Fuji OR Yuuta, right? Fuji is Syusuke -- but it sounds weird to call him that! And it sounds weird to call Yuuta "Fuji"! *tears out hair* Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Only a short epilogue to come, where I sort of tie things up. Atobe and Kawamura's situations are already tied up -- but...A few others need a little bit more...


	8. Part 8

A/N: Here is the rather depressing epilogue. I love angst...but I hate myself for this...I hope you've enjoyed the angsty-ness and the depression and so on, and I hope you don't hate me forever, because that would make me sad. I'll go out and write a bazillion happy fics now to make you like me again!! I promise! Request any couple, I'll do it!! And I'll give them a happy ending!

~Epilogue~

"Thank you for keeping me company, Tezuka," Oishi said, as he and Tezuka walked together. "I appreciate it."

"Aah."

"I still miss Eiji so much, even though I know we're never going to be together again..." he sighed. "I still love him so much. I'll probably never date again."

"Aah."

Tezuka put an arm around Oishi's shoulders -- a comforting touch.

Someone saw it, from the shadows -- and cried for the loss of his love...

*****

Yuuta glared at a picture of himself standing with his brother when they were little. He'd kept it all these years, because it reminded him of happy times. He'd looked up to his brother, once.

Hell, he'd looked up to his brother all along.

And then, Fuji had gone and pulled something so incredibly stupid -- 

__

How could he have kissed me like that?

And why do I keep thinking about it?

His feelings...they're wrong...

They're so wrong...

Yuuta had gone to the airport to say goodbye to his brother. Fuji had spotted him, and he shook his head. Yuuta ran to catch up to him -- but Fuji had vanished.

Vanished.

Yuuta wondered if he would ever see his brother again. He wanted to yell at him and call him baka aniki, even if it was just one more time.

*****

Fuji looked out the window of the airplane, and watched as his home got smaller and smaller. His home that would no longer be his home...Even if he returned, one day.

He didn't think he would return, though -- his brother hated him for sure, now. It would be dangerous to go back there.

__

I've always had an unhealthy obsession with my younger brother.

And I think from now on...it will get worse...because I can't see him anymore.  


*****

__

There are so many ways to fail, and few ways to succeed.

When you break the rules, you get punished -- but how many people can follow the rules without suffering?

There are crimes that can be punished, and there are crimes that need no punishment, because they hurt more than anything you can ever imagine.

****

A/N: That was a stupid ending, wasn't it? But fitting for something depressing.

Now, as promised -- the crimes.

Akutsu: obvious! He killed someone...

Kawamura: blaming himself for something he didn't do!

Fuji: INCEST 

Oishi: Smothering Eiji! and then -- not realizing that Eiji wanted him back!

Eiji: dismissing the one he loved (even though his reasons were decent) and then being too silly to realize that Oishi still loved him! Grr!

Atobe: two-timing Tezuka! Bad boy!

Tezuka: Dating someone he didn't even care about...geez...

Can you spot any more? Probably. I think the biggest crime is the fact I went through with this story. *sniffle* I'm truly sorry for breaking up the Golden Pair -- but think of it this way, after a little while they would be bound to talk to each other and sort it all out, but that sort of thing doesn't fit well in an angst piece -- so it's not featured here.


End file.
